The Victim's Story
As you can see I had “victim” written all over me. I was nearly 19 when I left Canada to come over to England, and found acceptance for the first time in my life. Somehow, over the years I managed to totally block out the abuse, I would tell everyone what a marvellous childhood I’d had.
When I was 25 I met my late husband George. We had a marvellous courtship and finally married in October '81. He showed signs of cancer of the palate around Christmas of that first year and died in 1985.
Life felt very low, in fact I felt doomed, it seemed to me is that as soon as we got married everything fell apart. In '91 I finally had to have the hysterectomy I’d been trying to avoid having for several years. As I came round after the anaesthetic I felt such rage, it was really overwhelming, not just anger but real rage. It was mostly directed towards men but not exclusively, and what was worse I started having flashbacks to the childhood abuse. I couldn't understand it as I'd come to believe my own lies of a wonderful childhood.
I had an excellent doctor who sent me for counselling, but it didn't help. I lost my job, my confidence, my health everything. I'd had asthma and eczema since I was a child but now was severely depressed diabetic and arthritic as well.
I became so low that I prepared a special concoction for myself, but something stopped me taking that fatal concoction and that was love, love for my dog, just a dog, but love just the same. I continued to plod along. I find it so hard now describe how I was feeling, mostly because I don't feel that way any more but I’ll try. Outwardly I gave the impression of coping with adversity, but I was not coping at all. I'd have fits of depression, panic over the silliest things, found it impossible to say no to any request and never dreamt of standing up for myself.
I was in a lot of pain all the time, I felt as if I was always searching for something but didn't know what it was, and I felt so very very sad. There seemed to be no horizons, and I was just marking time.
Then I heard about Victoria Harris and the type of work she did, from a pal of mine. She’d seen Victoria, said it was a fantastic mind blowing experience. It was not so much what my friend said, but how she was, so different, bright and happy it was hardly credible that it was the same person. I felt immediately that Victoria was the right person to help me.
Victoria felt we needed to deal with the abuse before we started work on spirit attachment, was I sceptical? You bet! Over the years Victoria has perfected a method of looking back over the past, using hypnosis she accesses all the areas of pain and suffering and then taps into those areas and takes out the emotion. Yeah?, and wow it worked! and helped enormously, and yet I knew there was something else to sort out.
Victoria had told me about spirit release, I had been a spiritualist for many years so understood that sometimes souls remained tied to the earth plane. However I didn't really think this would work for me, and although I had an open mind I was extremely sceptical. Yet the therapy has surpassed my wildest dreams.
I had three spirit attachments, the first was my late husband, who hadn't wanted to die and fought desperately not to leave me, he was convinced I would not be able to manage or cope without him. He was incredibly reluctant to leave, but when he finally went into the light I felt as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders, I felt light as a feather.
The second was a friend of mine called Marilyn she had died many years ago and had left behind a very small daughter, just 18 months old. She didn't want to leave her daughter and attached herself to me, she didn't even know she was dead!
The third and final one was a baby, I’d had a miscarriage years earlier, I can’t describe the feeling of love as it went into the light.
So, how has this helped me? Well I've accepted that the past is past, it cannot be changed but you can learn positive things from it. I accept everything that happened, but not that it was acceptable behaviour. I now appreciate that as a child I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, it could have happened to any little girl, and it just happened to be me.
The spirit release work was quite sensational, really the most amazing uplifting experience. I have found laughter again, a sense of freedom, I feel lighter as if a burden has lifted. I still have medical problems but they are drastically reduced. I used to have to take Hydrocodiene tablets three times the day, but since the spirit release therapy I really don’t need them, not even one a week. The pain is either less or more bearable I'm not sure which but I don't care, my confidence is back. I'm 53 years old yet inside I feel like 16 year-old, just starting her life. Horizons seem limitless and I can't wait to explore. I found I can now say no without offending people and if by chance it does offend well they probably weren't friends after all. I can stand up for myself and when I say no, I mean no. I’m no longer a victim I'm a survivor. There’s so much to see and do, and I can’t wait to get started.
I'm even thinking of starting a little business, I'm perfectly capable of it so why not?
Victoria Harris writes...
Mary was enormously angry, very depressed, had suicidal tendencies, very mixed black negative thoughts, and was unable to see any future for herself at all. She suffered with panic attacks and was quite aggressive. She was also very overweight. Throughout our discussion she kept repeating that she didn’t feel herself, and that her thoughts didn’t seem to be her own. When I told her they probably weren’t she looked at me in total disbelief!
I felt I needed to address the sexual abuse first which we did, and she then came to terms with what had happened to her, dropped the guilt and shame enabling her to let go of the past.
She had three spirit attachments and after some dialogue all went to their new lives in the light. The change in Mary was instant and quite remarkable, for the first time in years she felt light and free, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She left with her head held high, and a spring in her step. She contacted me 2 months later, she sounded very happy and bubbly. She said she’d only had 1 painkiller in 6 weeks, instead of 6 a day. She had lost weight and gone down a dress size, nothing was too much trouble and she loved life. I spoke to her recently, she has now opened her little business and is loving every moment of it.
Victoria Harris. SRN CMH. C.HYP